A few days ago, a VC called me for a reference check on someone I had barely worked with five years ago.
It was a remote setup, he handled a completely different geography; I handled another.
We were never on the same project team. At best, we had crossed paths in a few meetings.
The VC on the other end asked me very specific questions about how he is to work with, how he handles pressure and if he’s someone people want in the room.
I was honest that I hadn't worked closely with him but the fact that they called me at all was even more interesting.
They called me because they knew me through a common Bain friend.
Once you're inside some of these circles, you start getting reference calls for people who might be remotely connected with you - in this case, the founder and I shared the same former employer.
I have been on the giving end of these reference calls multiple times and even if I have barely worked with someone, but they showed up for me in some meaningful way, or if they were nice to be around when they didn’t have to, I would highlight that in the call.
Consulting firms have a name for this.
I have a team member who passes this test every time.
I look forward to my meetings with him because he connects, remembers small things I mentioned earlier, and follows up on them.
The work also just happens around the conversation rather than in spite of it.
So here is how I would think about it.
Managing up sounds like "Here's the latest work update."
Building a relationship sounds like "I noticed last week's board question was difficult, and I found some numbers that might help next time."
Senior people have enough yes-men around them, and the people they trust are usually the ones who have the courage to bring hard conversations to the table.
One of the senior leaders I respect most told me early in my career: give me a reason to think about you after you've left the room.
And I’m not saying you need to make every conversation memorable, but if a month goes by and someone two levels above you has no mental image of what you're working on, you're invisible to them, and invisible doesn't get sponsored.
The big moments are easy, because everyone tries hard in front of the Managing Director.
What people remember is how you behaved outside formal interactions.
It’s the subtle things like the email you wrote when you didn’t get the promotion, whether you gave credit to a junior when deserved, or how you talked about a colleague who had just left.
The Indian startup ecosystem has seen over 28,000 startups shut down in the last two years, and the layoffs and restructures that came with it mean a lot of people are leaving organisations badly.
The exit is where most reputation damage happens.
When you do leave a role, send a note to at least five people you worked with, and not just the ones you were closest to.
Tell each of them specifically what you learned from watching them work.
Most people only thank the seniors above them, instead also thank the people you worked alongside as they’ll remember it for years.
When someone looks at your LinkedIn or online activity, they are already forming an impression about how you think and who you are.
Most people treat their online presence like a resume.
It’s what people see when they are considering you for an opportunity, and you are not there to explain yourself.
The comment you left on a founder’s post, a post / comment where you disagreed with someone or a recommendation you’ve written for a colleague are things people notice to form an opinion on you.
The people who get strong referrals usually have an online presence that matches who they are in real life as that’s hard to fake.
Hit reply: is there someone who shaped your career that you've never properly thanked? What's been stopping you?
I read every email.
Swati